Growing up not knowing why you are different, is difficult and hard. I have so many stories about navigating the world as an undiagnosed neurodivergent person, and how i’m trying to learn about myself as a now 28 year old person. if you have any questions, or want to know anything, just ask!

Since I finally finished watching Cowboy Bebop again recently, I’m going to provide my opinion about how well this TV series, a neo-noir space Western, still holds up for me. Before watching Cowboy Bebop, I finished watching The Vision Of Escaflowne and Neon Genesis Evangelion, which are some of my favorite anime series too. Out of these three shows, Evangelion is my most favorite one. I think that it’s also the best out of these three shows. Evangelion begins with two good episodes, Angel Attack and Unfamiliar Ceilings, but then suffers from a dip in quality from episode 3 to episode 11. The eight episodes before episode 11 aren’t total letdowns because we get to find out more about the world of Evangelion and because important characters get introduced, but it almost seems like the director Hideaki Anno and the staff at Gainax were on autopilot when they were making these early episodes. I would say that Evangelion becomes considerably more interesting again in episode 11 and it becomes fantastic in episode 16. In episode 16, an angel, Leliel, contacts Shinji’s mind for the first time. The animation obviously gets better, the angel attacks become more epic and interesting, the characterization improves, and Anno finally gets to demonstrate yet again that he’s an excellent director, which is something that he already got to do in Nadia: The Secret Of Blue Water and Gunbuster. Although what happens in the world of Evangelion, such as the angel attacks, is very interesting and exciting, I would say that the main characters, who are well realized and developed, are the biggest strength of the show. They are like real people. They have strengths and they have flaws. The characterization in Evangelion is what puts it above Cowboy Bebop and Escaflowne for me. My three most favorite episodes from Evangelion are Tears, A Man’s Battle, and The Sickness Unto Death And Then. I should also add that I’m not at all a fan of the Rebuild of Evangelion, which is the animated film series that retells the story of the original TV series with some changes. Anno was involved in the making of these films, but his involvement doesn’t automatically make them good because, in my opinion, Anno hasn’t made anything great since Kare Kano in 1999. Hayao Miyazaki, who’s another great anime director, also hasn’t made anything great since Howl’s Moving Castle (2004). I think that the anime industry in Japan began going into a slump in the early-2000s, and this slump is still continuing. So, I would say that little or nothing great has been made by any of the younger anime directors, and older directors like Anno or Miyazaki haven’t been able to produce anything great too. This is why, for example, I don’t look forward to seeing The Boy And The Heron (2023). Fortunately, my thirst for good anime was satiated several months ago by Robot Carnival (1987), which is another film from the golden age of anime. If I had seen it earlier, it’s possible that I would have included this anthology of nine rather different shorts on my list of the top ten anime films. The Rebuild of Evangelion films aren’t terrible, but there’s nothing great about them either. They’re simply the usual bland modern anime films that have been getting made since the mid-2000s. So, for example, the main characters, who are so interesting in the original TV series, are not at all interesting in the Rebuild of Evangelion. I would even say that some of the main characters are revolting in these films. Cowboy Bebop has some of the same flaws as Evangelion. The first several episodes aren’t all that interesting, though they’re still very good. For example, they feature some beautiful and detailed background animation. This aspect, the detailed backgrounds, is present in almost every show from the golden age of anime. I would say that episode 14 is where Cowboy Bebop becomes truly good because Shinichiro Watanabe’s direction gets better and the animation gets better too, though it’s good in the preceding episodes too. Episode 14 is also the episode where the world-building in Cowboy Bebop becomes more interesting. For example, we get to find out more about the Astral Gate. The characterization in Cowboy Bebop isn’t very good, in my opinion. Sure, the characters are appealing and somewhat interesting, but they’re more like fictional heroes than like real people. It’s no secret that many of the characters in the show are heavily influenced by characters from various American and Hong Kong films. Spike, Jet, Faye, and Edward get to do many unusual and superhuman things in the course of the show, and, because of this, they’re like the superhuman heroes in many Western films, action films, martial arts films, or even noir films. Therefore, they’re characters that a person can be inspired by, but they’re not characters that a person can relate to. Much has been said by people about the “coolness” of the show because it features blues and jazz music by Yoko Kanno and the Seatbelts, gunfights, swordfights, martial arts fights, and characters that wouldn’t look out of place in a Western or in an action movie. While these things may be important to an average bloke, “coolness” is not what I look for in a show. Fortunately, coolness isn’t the only thing that Cowboy Bebop has to offer. It also offers an interesting future world and good animation, which have received plenty of praise from people too. My three most favorite episodes are Speak Like A Child, Boogie Woogie Feng Shui, and Cowboy Funk. The story of the film, Cowboy Bebop: The Movie (2001), is set between episode 22 and episode 23 of the TV series. I consider it to be another one of the last great anime films. As for The Vision Of Escaflowne, I would say that it’s my second favorite out of the three shows, behind Evangelion and ahead of Cowboy Bebop. Escaflowne is the most consistent out of the three shows when it comes to quality. It starts out well and it remains good until the end, but I must say that some of the early episodes are my least favorite episodes of the show. There isn’t a noticeable dip in the quality of animation or storytelling after the first few episodes. The reason why Escaflowne isn’t ahead of Evangelion for me is because it doesn’t quite reach the same heights as Evangelion. The characters in Escaflowne are appealing, but they’re not as interesting as the characters in Evangelion. What’s also worth mentioning is that the creators of the show clearly wanted it to appeal to girls and not only to boys. The main character, Hitomi Kanzaki, is a school-girl. There isn’t a shortage of scenes of her and the other female characters talking about their feelings for male characters and trying to get together with male characters. I must say that these scenes bored me. Escaflowne features impressive mecha designs and action scenes, but it has fewer memorable action scenes than Evangelion. However, the story of Escaflowne may be just as interesting as the story of Evangelion, perhaps more so. Evangelion is ultimately a story featuring aliens and about how these same aliens created mankind. Escaflowne is ultimately a story featuring Atlantis, a civilization of legend and lore that thrived 12,000 years ago on Earth, and about how the Atlanteans created Gaea. So, anyway, my three most favorite episodes are The Guided Ones, The Edge Of The World, and The Girl From The Mystic Moon. Although Evangelion is my most favorite one out of the three shows, I have to say that watching Escaflowne moved me the most this time. It’s because there are things in the show that I didn’t realize before and because I got to see some of the episodes in a new light. When it comes to characterization, Escaflowne manages to reach some of the heights of Evangelion. Some of the scenes in Escaflowne are simply incredible, like when Allen’s father briefly meets Hitomi’s grandmother in the Mystic Valley. What’s also worth adding is that I watched all three of the shows this time with English subtitles. I didn’t turn on the English dubs. English dubs for anime are almost always disappointing because they’re lower in quality than the original Japanese language and sound tracks and because sometimes even the meaning of what is said gets changed. This is obvious, for example, in an OVA like Rurouni Kenshin: Trust & Betrayal, where, in some scenes, the excellent dialogue got changed completely. I was a bit stunned when I found out that the people that made the English dub for this OVA completely changed some of the dialogue for the dub. Some people praise the English dub that got made for Cowboy Bebop, but I think that it’s not really good. I don’t like that some of the words got changed for the dub, and I don’t really like some of the performances. I think that Escaflowne has the best English dub out of the three shows, although this dub too isn’t worth praising much, in my opinion. It’s kind of funny that now that I’m done watching the three shows again, I feel a little sad that they’re over. There’s so much to like about the three shows, and I can watch them over and over again. I appreciate them now even more than I did when I watched them for the first time, partly because I now realize that good anime shows like these just don’t get made anymore. I can obviously watch these shows whenever I like because I own them on video, but I can’t simply spend all of my time watching anime. I have to do other things too, though I probably won’t wait another several years before watching them again. What’s also impressive is that all three of the shows are original creations. They weren’t adapted from manga. However, manga based on these shows did get released. I’ve only read the Evangelion manga, which was written and illustrated by Yoshiyuki Sadamoto. This manga series isn’t bad, but it’s clearly not better than the TV series. It’s obviously nowhere near as good as classic manga like Nausicaa Of The Valley Of The Wind by Hayao Miyazaki or Akira by Katsuhiro Otomo. I began reading the Evangelion manga years ago, but I stopped reading it because I lost interest in it after reading the first 11 volumes. Sadamoto’s artwork is obviously impressive, and it’s perhaps the only reason to own this manga series, but the story and the characterization are somewhat disappointing. Finally, last year, I read the last two volumes in the summer simply to have a feeling of completion. I finished reading the last volume on my Samsung Galaxy Tab S 10.5 when I was at a Tim Hortons cafe, in the afternoon. I went there mostly to use the washroom. Finishing to read this manga felt kind of special because I began reading it more than a decade ago but I finished reading it only last year. The manga itself isn’t really special. What felt special is the fact that it took more than a decade before I was able to get through it. I began reading this manga when my life was different, when things were different for me, and when I knew a lot less about the world than I do now. I must admit that realizing this when I finished reading the manga at the cafe made the moment somewhat special and memorable for me. It was as if I was going through the end of an era.

When it comes to what I finished reading recently, I can say that I finished reading Michelangelo (1974) by Howard Hibbard. Since this isn’t really a thick book (315 pages), and since I had an urge to finish reading it as soon as possible, I read it quite quickly. This is something that’s unusual for me nowadays because I don’t read one book at a time. I’m in a process of slowly reading dozens of books in my free time. I don’t feel like I need to read only one book at a time and that I have to finish reading it before picking up another book. This is almost certainly because I have attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. Therefore, Hibbard’s book, which interested me a fair amount, is the first book that I’ve read in this way since I read Carl Sagan’s ‘The Dragons of Eden’ (1977) several years ago. ‘The Dragons of Eden’ is one of the books that Andrei Fursov recommended on his webpage, and I’m glad that I picked it up because it got me interested in Sagan’s other books, such as ‘Cosmos’ (1980) and ‘Contact’ (1985). The book also features some superb black & white photographs. My mother once told me that biographies can be some of the most useful books that one can read. I’ve got to agree with her. I didn’t only learn a lot about Michelangelo when reading Hibbard’s book. I also learned about some of what happened in Europe when Michelangelo was alive, and, obviously, I learned a lot about Michelangelo’s art. Before reading this book, I didn’t know about the Sack of Rome of 1527. Hibbard described it as follows. “The Medici Chapel and the Biblioteca Laurenziana were interrupted by a political crisis. Pope Clement VII had fallen out with the new Emperor, Charles V, in the mid-1520s, whereupon Charles instigated a Roman uprising against the Pope in September 1526. Imperial troops, unrestrained by any merciful leader, rampaged through Italy the following year, and on 6 May 1527 entered Rome. The defenders of the city were cut to pieces; orphans and invalids were thrown into the Tiber. No method of torture was left untried by the ingenious Spanish soldiers, but the favorite was simply to tie up the victim and let him starve. The German landsknechts, many of them new Lutherans, amused themselves with even less refined activities. Every church was plundered, tombs ransacked, altars desecrated, palaces burnt. Churches were turned into stables, as was Clement’s unfinished suburban palace, the Villa Madama. It was reported that ‘some soldiers clothed an ass in bishop’s vestments, led him into a church, and tried to force a priest to… offer him the Sacred Host. The priest, on refusing, was cut in pieces.’ Nuns were raped and sold into prostitution. Even the Emperor’s own agent was so ill-treated that he died in the street from hunger and exhaustion. ‘All the Romans are prisoners,’ a Venetian wrote, ‘and if a man does not pay his ransom he is killed.’ Clement VII and some of his retinue escaped to the relative safety of the Castel Sant’ Angelo (Cellini gives a memorably boastful description of the fighting). After peace was declared, Clement escaped to Orvieto, a broken man, dragging with him the remnants of a seriously damaged authority. The exuberant Renaissance papacy was finished.” It turns out that I did get to see one sculpture by Michelangelo, although I haven’t been to Italy. This sculpture is called Crouching Boy, which is located at the Hermitage Museum in Saint Petersburg. I must say that when I was at the museum, I wasn’t really interested much in seeing Michelangelo’s sculpture or many of the other famous artworks there. I was most excited to see some of the Ancient Egyptian mummies that are there. When I was at the Egyptian Museum in Cairo, the large collection of Ancient Egyptian mummies there was also what I was most interested in seeing. But, obviously, I also got to see the Mask of Tutankhamun there, for example. I know quite a lot about Ancient Egypt, but I’ve been most interested in finding out more about Islamic Civilization (500 AD – 1940 AD), Chinese Civilization (400 AD – 1930 AD), and even Japanese Civilization (100 BC – 1950 AD) in the last several years. Still, the only Islamic country that I’ve been to is Egypt. Well, that’s not really correct because I’ve also been to Morocco and Palestine, where I got to see the Western Wall, the Dome of the Rock, and the Church of the Holy Sepulchre. And the history books that I’ve received as gifts are also almost all about Ancient Egypt. It’s as if people think that Ancient Egypt is the only thing that I’m interested in. Well, I’m not really complaining because I own several gorgeous old books about Ancient Egypt because of this. One of the books that was gifted to me by my mother is ‘Monuments Of Civilization: Egypt’ (1970) by Claudio Barocas, and I finished reading it several months ago. This gorgeous book, with its many photographs, made me want to buy the other eight books from the series. I ordered them in very good condition from England. They are about Ancient Cambodia, the Middle East, the Maya, Rome, Greece, India, Japan, and Islam.

Kelly DeVries stated that ‘no person of the Middle Ages, male or female, has been the subject of more study than Joan of Arc. She has been portrayed as a saint, heretic, religious zealot, seer, demented teenager, proto-feminist, aristocratic wanna-be, saviour of France, person who turned the tide of the Hundred Years War’. Gordon (2001) described her as ‘a mystery girl who came from nowhere’. She was an intelligent girl. According to Gordon (2001), ‘Joan came into the world tainted by political and economic disorder’. Attempts have been made to understand Joan of Arc since the fifteenth century. She’s one of the most puzzling individuals that ever lived, and this paper adds the possibility of anorexia nervosa and autism spectrum disorder to the speculation. A single categorical diagnosis is unlikely ever to describe her. Gordon (2001) noted her ‘singularity and single-mindedness’, which can be seen in persons with autism, and she was in addition, erratic and self-contradictory.

Background and childhood:

She was reared on a farm, where she looked after the animals. Her father was a low-ranking individual. He ‘represented the town in the local assizes’. She had no formal schooling. She stated that in her teen years, ‘there was no one superior to her in sewing and spinning’, (Gordon, 2001). She appears to have been somewhat distant from her family.

Temporal lobe epilepsy:

D’Orsi and Tinuper (2016), suggested ‘idiopathic partial epilepsy with auditory features’. They also suggest that ‘auditory hallucinations and occasionally visual hallucinations are symptoms of epilepsy’, (Miller, 2022). The voices Joan said could be set off by the sound of bells and could occur during sleep. They occurred episodically. This hypothesis remains unproven.

Tuberology:

Ratnasuriya (1986) suggested that she may have had tuberculosis because she worked on a farm and may have got it from the cattle. This could also explain the amenorrhea and the possible intercranial tumours linking to hallucinations. While it’s not possible to rule this out, she had too much energy for a person with tuberculosis.

Hallucination: A question of schizophrenia?

Ratnasuriya (1986) stated that ‘she was about thirteen when she first heard voices’. The description of this first experience is quoted in Smith’s Joan of Arc: ‘she had a voice from God to help her to know what to do and on this first occasion she was very much afraid. She heard the voices upon the right side and rarely heard it without accompanying brightness … after she heard this voice upon three occasions, she understood that it was the voice of an angel’. ‘She later went on to claim that she heard and saw St. Michael, St. Catherine and St. Margaret’. Gordon (2001) notes that Joan was extremely pious and had experienced visions involving angels and saints, both the quality of her visions and the shape of her life mark her as radically different from the mystics who preceded her. The language and imagery of the great mystics is hypersexualised and hyper specific in its accumulation of physical detail’. This made her unique and different from them. Brother Richard was a mystic and Joan ‘shared her devotion to the cult of the Holy Name’, (Gordon, 2001). At her later trial, one of the Judges asked her if St. Michael was naked and she replied, ‘do you think God cannot afford to clothe him’, (Gordon, 2001). Gordon (2001) noted that she was ‘moved by a religious vision’ and spoke of ‘the delights of the presence of her voices’ and ‘she understood herself to be constantly and palpably in the company of the Divine’. ‘She was loyal to her voices, whose divine source she never doubted’, (Gordon, 2001). She did obey and was controlled by the voices – one of the reasons schizophrenia was considered. The voices were dear to her. The hallucinations did not lead her to go into a nunnery but ‘into battle’, (Gordon, 2001), which meant killing and spilling of blood which makes her very contradictory. She was emotionally immature. John Huizinga (Gordon, 2001) ‘suggested Joan’s expressing her experience as divinely sent voices was uncommon but not bizarre for the time, that to the contemporary framework of understanding, it was no more odd than a twentieth century person speaking of her unconscious or outer space or relativity. He vehemently denies that her voices are pathological, and his work has not hesitated in pointing to the pathology of the age in which she lived. Her experience was unusual, he says, but it was not disturbed’. Clearly, Joan’s voices as a cultural phenomenon has to be considered. Huizinga (1970), stated that ‘if every inspiration that comes to me with such commanding urgency that it is heard as a voice is to be condemned out of hand by a learned qualification of a morbid symptom, a hallucination, who would not rather stand with Joan of Arc and Socrates than with the faculty of the Sorbonne and that of the sane’. Gordon (2001) notes ‘Joan’s highly developed understanding of symbolic action and its power. She is (capable) of explaining a complex and multi-faceted idea’. This goes totally against schizophrenia. Beavan et al, (2011) showed in a paper on The prevalence of voice-hearers in the general population, that ‘the findings support the current movement away from pathological models of unusual experiences and towards understanding voice-hearing as a continuum in the general population and having a meaning in relation to the voice-hearer’s life experience’. This would fit exactly with Joan’s hallucinations. Beavan et al, (2011) state the median for hallucinations in the general population was 13.2%. There is clearly no one to one relationship between hallucinations and schizophrenia. Hallucinations can also occur in high-functioning autism, other psychotic disorders and drug abuse. In DSM 5, (APA, 2013), it is written that in ‘some cultures, visual and auditory hallucinations with a religious content (hearing God’s voice) are a part of religious experience’. This is where Joan’s voices belong and not in schizophrenia. Indeed, hallucinations are only one feature of schizophrenia, and one cannot make a diagnosis based solely on them. What Joan described were classic ‘hallucinations which came to her as being vivid and clear, with the full force of normal perceptions, and not under voluntary control and they occurred in a clear sensorium’, (APA, 2013). APA (2013) also concludes that hallucinations may be a normal part of religious experience in certain cultural contexts. This last (APA, 2013), sentence is the one that explain Joan of Arc’s hallucinations. Joan felt that she had ‘a divine mandate’, (Gordon, 2001). This would fit with the cultural and religious mores of the fifteenth century. Joan showed an ability to deal with learned doctors, with equanimity for she repeatedly suggested that … her Judge’s refer to the record of Poitier’s and stop wasting her time’. This also shows her sanity, if not tact.

Anorexia nervosa:

Gordon (2001), noted that ‘Joan took pleasure in her body not as an eating body or a body that aroused or experienced sexual desires but as a body that wore clothes, used them for display, as a body that rode horses … as an active body that led men and wielded a sword’. Nevertheless, Gordon (2001) did note a comment about her ‘lovely breasts’. This suggests some normality in that physical area. She ‘ate very little and without formality’, (Gordon, 2001). Gordon (2001) noted that, ‘she didn’t care much about food’, and was abstemious, ‘at table’. Even after battle, she was known to eat only a few pieces of bread dipped in wine … her lack of appetite for the food was seen as an indication of her worthiness or superiority’. In addition, ‘Joan did not menstruate’, (Gordon, 2001). This can be associated with anorexia nervosa. Gordon (2001) suggests that ‘Joan’s reluctance to eat more than the minimum needed for her survival suggests that she might not be taking in the proper number of calories to encourage menstruation. The combination of extreme physical activity, extreme stress and the minimum of food easily explains Joan’s not menstruating’. Gordon (2001), stated that ‘the sexual allure of boyishness attaches not to strength but to lightness’. ‘Joan took pleasure in her body, not as an eating body or a body that aroused or experienced sexual desires, but as a body that wore clothes and used them for display, as a body that rode horses and was admired on horseback, as an active body that led men and wielded a sword’. She had no admiration for the female body. We don’t know what she thought about body weight but ate little, was not interested in female sexual interests. She was a perfectionist, high achiever, had expectations and of course anorexia nervosa can overlap with a neurodevelopmental disorder like autism.

Personality:

At her Trial, she resisted ‘their (Judge’s) charge of witchcraft’ and maintained ‘the integrity of her position on her voices’, (Gordon, 2001). ‘It is no easier to understand Joan as a religious figure than as a political or military one. She burst out of categories, criss-crosses about her, contradicts the images she has presented about herself’, (Gordon, 2001). The voices charged her with the job of ‘crowning the Dauphin King of France’, (Gordon, 2001). This is not a religious task although she made it religious by stating that ‘my Lord wants the Dauphin to be made King’, (Gordon, 2001). She was a most contradictory personality who spoke with certainty and moved men to do what she wanted, including Royalty. She was mesmeric. Gordon, (2001) noted that ‘fifteenth-century Church doctors had no trouble placing prophecy alongside testimony, garnered through legal investigation, and weighing both’. With her personality, Joan showed extreme ‘naivete’. She had an ‘impetuous, hubristic nature’, (Gordon, 2001). She could be ‘aggressive’, and full of ‘rage’, (Gordon, 2001). She had an ‘extraordinary physical courage and stamina’, (Gordon, 2001). She was controlling, dominating and had narrow interests. She had poor political judgement later and could not adapt to new situations. She had preservation of sameness in her battle plans. She became a victim of misogynism. She inspired her troops, was courageous and loved to display her standards. She knew the importance of exhibiting herself as a warrior to the troops and put on ‘white armour’, ‘a short gold jacket’, an ‘elaborate dress’ and ‘she revelled in this power’, among her troops, (Gordon, 2001).

Truthfulness?

In relation to a prisoner who was found guilty ‘she went back on her word, her parole, sacred to the idea of chivalry’, (Gordon, 2001).

Creative psychopathy:

Henderson (1939) suggested that Joan had creative psychopathy. This does not fit well. I assume he meant her achievements in the military area. Gordon (2001), noted that, ‘she was younger than anyone she rode beside and in all importance rooms of her life, she was alone among her elders’.

Other aspects of personality:

She was naive and foolhardy in her management of later battles. She was controlling, dominating, egocentric and not relating satisfactorily to her army officers. When she was captured, she was pulled ‘by the garment that she wore out of love of display … and it was on horseback that she presented her most inspiring version of herself’ (Gordon, 2001). She was exhibitionistic, ‘loved display’ and ‘elaborate dress’ and was a ‘master of symbols, but the symbols she chose were simple and easily read’, (Gordon, 2001). ‘She loved her standard’ and ‘she had no interest in courtship or the conventions of courtly love’, (Gordon, 2001). Her only interest was in serving God. Gordon, (2001) notes that she was, ‘fearless and timeless and her courage never flagged’. She was excited by the power and control she had in battle. Even after her capture, she remained grandiose and felt that she would triumph at her Trial. She felt that she was safe with God and her voices. What was important to her was her internal relationship with God and not external judges. She tried to escape imprisonment which goes against this personal omnipotent thinking. She later said she was wrong to try to escape and that the voices were against this. At her Trial, ‘she was fearless and ……. her devoutness, her lack of concern about defying the power of the Church is astounding’. It suggests an autistic trait or a psychopathic trait. It suggests some problem with theory of mind. There was something novelty-seeking or sensation-seeking in her interaction with the Judges.

Narcissistic personality disorder:

In some ways, there was a narcissistic grandiose component to her personality. At the Trial she avoided ‘understatement’, (Gordon, 2001). This may have been part of her narcissism. At her Trial, she emphasized ‘the primacy of her own vision over the authority of the Church’, (Gordon, 2001). She turned the Judges against her. Joan ‘set herself up as superior to the authority of the Church’, (Gordon, 2001). This could be seen as narcissistic grandiosity. She was narcissistic, grandiose and megalomaniacal in some of the credit she took for military success and also showed ‘taunting arrogance’, (Gordon, 2001). She recognized no limits. Another aspect of her narcissism was her ‘boastfulness’. Gordon, (2001) noted that ‘the bravado of her tone is extravagant to the point of delusion’. She described herself as ‘chief of war’, (self-appointed) and stated that she was ‘sent by God, the King of Heaven, body for body to drive you out (enemies) of all France’, (Gordon, 2001). This was very grandiose and almost omnipotent. She showed ‘confident aggressiveness’ and ‘mastery’, (Gordon, 2001). She did not inspire loyalty after her failures in battle. After she was captured, no one came to her aide. Like persons with narcissistic personality disorder, (APA, 2013), she was preoccupied with thoughts of unlimited success and power. She believes she was special. She had a sense of entitlement. She had a grandiose sense of her own self-importance, showed a lack of empathy, could be dominant and arrogant. She had identity diffusion, intimacy problems and narcissistic rage and anger. She had no insight into her personality.

Autism spectrum disorder?

She had problems in social communication and behaviour. She had problems making friends. She was a loner, eccentric, solitary and had preservation of sameness. She wore the same clothes repeatedly. She had narrow interests. She was naive and had problems reading other people’s minds.

Cross-dressing and identity:

Susan Crane, (1996), comments ‘Joan of Arc wore men’s clothes almost continually from her first attempts to reach the Dauphin, later crowned Charles VII, until her execution twenty-eight months later. In Court, on campaigns, in Church and in the street, she cross-dressed, and she refused to stop doing so during the long months of her Trial for heresy. Joan’s contemporary supporters and adversaries, comment extensively on her clothing and the records of her Trial provides commentary of her own, making her by far the best-documented transvestite of the later Middle Ages’. Central to her cross-dressing was that it was compulsive and extremely important to her, even if she said it was a minor issue. ………..she would not desist, and it was one of the final reasons for her burning at the state. She described the wearing of male clothes as the ‘commandment of God and his angels’, (Pernoud et al, 1998). In terms of transvestic disorder, (APA, 2013) we don’t know if there were any sexual fantasies or arousal in relation to it. She had a massive urge to do it and it was compulsive. She was charged with ‘idolatrous transvestism’. Going against transgender was that ‘she refused to give up the identity of a woman’, (Gordon, 2001). She said she wore male clothes to protect her from rape. ‘Amongst men at arms she was happiest’, (Gordon, 2001). This shows a masculine identification.

The Trial:

The trial judges were sadistic and misogynistic. Joan nevertheless did enjoy ‘the performance aspect of the Trial’, (Gordon, 2001). This was part of her exhibitionism and sensation-seeking. She saw herself as superior to the Judges. She was tried as a heretic in an ‘inquisition-type Trial’. Gordon (2001) described it as a ‘great witchcraft Trial’.

Conclusion:

Joan was narcissistic, grandiose, controlling, dominating, emotionally immature with sexual identity diffusion. She had poor social relationships but was a great leader of men in battle. She did not have schizophrenia. Her psychopathology was on the personality spectrum and neurodevelopmental spectrum. She had poor reciprocal social relationships, preservation of sameness, narrow interests. She didn’t really have a male identity because she called herself ‘Joan the Maid’. She was not sexually attracted to men, as a female. She was androgynous.

• Michael Fitzgerald, Former Professor of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry